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June 6, 2023
The Root of Shame (Part 2 of 3)I like to take a holistic approach to not only physical health, but also mental health.
Our body, and our lives are an ecosystem. Everything is connected.
This goes for our mind, body and spirit.
When looking at an issue or problem, it's important to get to the root cause instead of just focusing on the symptom.
So what is shame and where does it come from?
In my column last week, I spoke in detail about what shame is, and how it differs from guilt and embarrassment.
Feelings of shame arise when we look at ourselves critically and judgmentally and then evaluate negatively.
Our negative self-evaluation generally comes from messages we've received from others, about how we are supposed to be think or act.
These messages may come from family, peers, society or the media. The shame generally forms during our developmental years in childhood.
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May 30, 2023
What is Shame? (Part 1)Shame is an unseen rarely spoken about epidemic. We as a society, are largely ashamed of our shame. The only way to take things out of the dark, is to shine a light on them. First - let's name shame. According to Collins dictionary the definition of shame is "A ...
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May 23, 2023
Mindfulness, Change and Resistance to ChangeWe often say we want change, but when it comes down to it, we don't really want to put in the time, effort or work TO change. Sometimes when we finally do start making changes, we backslide or self-sabotage, and then are tempted to just give up. Both of these ...
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May 16, 2023
More on Mature Romantic RelationshipsWe've all heard the expressions: "You complete me." "Looking for my other half." "Without you, I'm nothing." Historically, I believed these were romantic expressions of ideal romantic love. Just like everything else on this personal growth journey, I am rethinking ...
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May 9, 2023
Childhood Wounds In Adult Romantic RelationshipsThe other day I was watching 90 day fiancé (yup, I admit it!) and it occurred to me how many of us make childish choices in adult romantic relationships. We bought into this whole idea of "romance" so much, it seems we've lost common sense and the ability to make ...
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I started taking morning walks recently in order to help regulate my nervous system. A number of medical, neurological and emotional factors contribute to my life long state of being on high alert. Unfortunately, I spent most of my life not knowing that everyone ...
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April 25, 2023
You Are Not Broken: There Is No Shame In Being YouThrough my work over the years, both with myself and others there is a pervasive secret that very few talk about. If you have ever felt that you were broken, fatally flawed, unlovable, or just different than everyone else, you are not a alone. Time and time again, I ...
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April 18, 2023
Listening to Our Inner Voice Rather Than Our EgoWe spend much of our lives listening to the voice in our head and believing what it tells us. There may come a point, through inner-work, mindfulness or a dark night of the soul, that we realize that voice is not us. The voice we have blindly obeying is our ego. We ...
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April 11, 2023
Why Do We Resist Personal Growth and Positive Change?Sometimes we say we want things in our lives to change and can be surprised to realize that part of us is resisting doing to work to create the change we desire. There's an old saying that when we know better, we do better. It's not that simple, however. It is common ...
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April 4, 2023
There's No Place Like HomeI'm going back to Los Angeles this week. The place I called home for 15 years. The place I "escaped" from to go back to my original home, four years ago. My first back was a year and a half after I first left. While I had come to terms with many of the things that ...