The Job Thing

It's nearing the end of the year (please hold your applause until DECEMBER 31st), and the question I get asked more than any other this time of year is "GET ME A JOB!" To which I customarily respond, "that's not a question." But the spirit of the request is noted, and so it makes some sense to devote this last column of the year to job prospects and how to....

What? It's not the last column of the year? I have to write more of these?

Sigh.

All right, then, jobs. There aren't many in talk radio, but you know that. And we're definitely in the "what now?" period post-election, with station management debating whether to go all-in on Trumpmania and risk nursing home demographics, go "lighter" and less political talk and risk appealing to the under-65 crowd that couldn't find an AM station if there was a glowing "AM HERE" button on their dashboards, or broker the damn thing out and act like talk radio never happened. So far, talk stations are hanging in there, which is good because podcasting, also known as "where talk radio's going to end up, probably," still isn't going to provide a decent living for most people doing it. Not yet. And "it's the future" won't pay today's rent, so I get it, you want to go where you can get paid.

There are encouraging signs. I've seen a few heritage, large-market, prominent stations advertising for hosts, and they're looking for someone who doesn't do what I've criticized talkers for doing -- they want people who aren't locked into hard, ideologically-rigid political talk. They want, at least in one case, someone whose show prep isn't the Drudge Report. They want, obviously, someone more in tune with how real people think, not just the P1s.

(Let me reiterate here: Unless you're The Ticket in Dallas and it's your schtick, do not utter the term "P1" on the air. Just don't.)

I'm not your agent. But I can offer a little free advice, because I'm generous and because I'm lazy at invoicing tens of thousands of people. Here's what you should be doing:

1. Have fresh, scoped, great audio at the ready. This is where doing a podcast is valuable: If you haven't been on the air in a while, you can still have relevant content to show off if you're still generating it; it may not be your living, but it's a great way to stay sharp and keep your fans with you. We're way past the time, by the way, when PDs will look at podcasting as something beneath them, or at least GOOD PDs, the ones for whom you'd want to work, know that there's some great content being posted as podcasts. Anyone who'd look down at you for podcasting is a dinosaur, so you can't worry about them.

2. Speaking of keeping fans with you, you'd better be able to show a big social media presence. You want to be able to show a decent number of followers, sure, but you also need to be engaging them. Oh, and let's talk about the election, shall we? I'm astonished by how so many hosts were posting really stupid things throughout the campaign, on both sides. If you were posting fake news and stupid memes and being belligerent, it's probably too late to go back and delete all of that, because a sharp PD who's keeping an eye out for prospective hires has probably already seen it and made his or her judgement. You can delete Pepe the Frog all you want, but you can't escape.

3. Do not be discouraged by the paucity of openings or the reports of layoffs or ownership changes. Yes, it's true, stations are changing hands, people have been laid off, everyone's cutting costs, cutting corners, cutting bone. But, somehow, some way, talk radio is still here, and for many companies, the revenue stream is way too important to cut off. Someone's got to do the shows. There's recognition that some of the format's staples are in need of refreshing. If the top management would rather put a flavor-of-the-month music format on all of its frequencies, voice-tracked by one very tired personality at one of their medium-market stations (can't do it with a major market talent, they're too expensive), run by a computer and programmed by corporate, they know that they can't do that with EVERY station. Even if they don't, spoken word formats are sneaking past them, so there's hope.

4. Network. You can keep in touch with people in the business via social media, but there's no substitute for the occasional lunch, the drop-in meeting, the face-to-face at a convention. Social media's great to remain on the radar, but actual human contact is still better.

5. As I've told you for years, have a plan B. That means a job that isn't the one you want, but at least pays the bills. The less desperate you are, the better you'll come off. "Hungry" is one thing, "I NEED A JOB!!!" is another. Whatever you do -- accounting, retail, Uber -- will take the pressure off a little. Don't think of it as thwarting your career goals, think of it as enabling you to take your time and do it right. Nothing demeaning about earning a buck to pay the rent. You might find the "backup job" turns out to be more rewarding than you thought it would be, and it'll surely give you material for your show or podcast.

I hope that answers your not-a-question. And I hope all of you who need it find gainful employment for the new year. Or start a podcast. Can't have too many of those.

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Whether you have a show to prep for or you just like to blurt out weird stuff in public for no apparent reason, you'll find plenty of news and bad jokes and stuff for all of your show prep needs at All Access News-Talk-Sports' Talk Topics, which you can find by clicking here, and you should also follow the Talk Topics Twitter feed at @talktopics with every story individually linked to the appropriate item. And there's the Podcasting section at AllAccess.com/podcasts.

You can follow my personal Twitter account at @pmsimon, and my Instagram account (same handle, @pmsimon) as well. And you can find me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/pmsimon, and at pmsimon.com.

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No column next week, due to the holiday, the one that, if you go to your local Target or Walmart, has apparently ceased to exist. But it's my favorite, so Happy Thanksgiving, enjoy the turkey and football and green bean casserole, and I'll talk at you when the leftovers run out.

Perry Michael Simon
Vice President/Editor, News-Talk-Sports
AllAccess.com
psimon@allaccess.com
www.facebook.com/pmsimon
Twitter @pmsimon
Instagram @pmsimon